The Sabbatical Regimen

Regimen: A regulated system, as of diet, therapy, or exercise, intended to promote health or achieve another beneficial effect.

I view this sabbatical as a time to live a "regulated system" of spiritual formation. I trust that God is active in a positive, creative fashion that will (of course!) achieve a beneficial effect. Along with the joy of receiving a prolonged rest from ordinary ministry, I have accepted the responsibility of taking a prolonged look at God's guidance and direction for my life and vocation.

I confess to my sabbatical companions (you must be one of them if you have accessed this portion of the blog) that it has been a significant discipline to maintain a sabbatical regimen during these holy days of Christmas.

Since I am blessed with an energetic circle of family and friends, there have been many activities that have been joyful and wonder-filled aspects of these days. There has been much "fun" to be had!!!! It has been merry, and joyous and delightful in many ways. My home has been open to an abundance of food and fellowship. I have seen many glimmerings of God's presence in the warmth of people and places I have visited.

Now I bask in the ripples of all of those events. And, to be totally candid... I return gratefully to the more simple and calm regimen of sabbatical.

To YOU!

Merry Christmas!
May you know the amazing joy, pleace, and hope born in our hearts in Christ!

In His amazing love,
Pamela

Contrasts

The shortest day of the year turned out to be one of the brightest we have had this December. Frigid air and high winds rendered the sky cloudless...and with an inch or two of snow on the ground, the illumination was "extreme". Many people expressed their delight to see the sun at the same time they exclaimed their pain as they inhaled the knife blades of subzero air.

Contrasts fascinate me...they bring details into clear focus -- without contrasts, everything would be a visual, audible, and emotional "sameness". Sometimes I see something with new appreciation when it is placed next to its extreme opposite. Absence and Presence, Present and Past, Birth and Death, Joy and Sorrow, Sound and Stillness, Light and Dark, Action and Rest -- These are just of few of the contrasts that I notice, especially at this time of year.

There is a point where I can get caught up in a frenzied rhythm of these contrasts. When the pace of the "holiday schedule" heightens, I notice a sort of "crazy fatigue" -- The sensation gains momentum and threatens to become the primary condition of my being. I may find myself looking at the extremes, darting from one to the other. It is a type of sensory/spiritual/emotional overload. It's like being on a teeter totter that is moving with a force that threatens to catapult me into space!

But peace can be re-established! At the center of all these contrasts is a place where I rest in stillness...wholeness. I return to a secure balance point from which I can gently and appreciatively gaze at the contrasts, knowing that they are there to reveal the nuances of God's good gifts. I see people differently from that place. I am able to move through activities and relationships in a spirit of acceptance rather than judgement (that radically changes how I am in those family gatherings!) I experience the passage of time with an understanding that all things change...joy and sorrow, presence and absence, life and death. Everything flows...and all moments have purpose.

I pray, through God's grace, that I may appreciate more fully the contrasts I encounter.

The Bird Feeder

My welfare cases visit each day. They flutter about the bird feeders gathering one seed at a time. Their activity is rhythmic. I've noticed that the flight paths and hop-ways are repeated, with the same twig serving as the staging area...the same niche in the tree the place where the treasure is set free from the kernel.

Daily prayer can reveal a similar rhythm. I arrive at pretty much the same hour, sit in the same chair, open the same Bible and write in the same journal. As I live out the Advent Practice of reading scripture and allowing intentional time for meditation and reflection I have been blessed with bits of understanding that nourish me in the deepest regions of my being.

I am reminded this morning of the teaching of a 13th Century monk, Brother Giles. He envisioned God as a "great mountain of corn from which man, like a sparrow, takes a grain of wheat. Yet event that grain of wheat, which is a much as we can carry away, contains all the essentials of our life. We are to carry it carefully and eat it gratefully: remembering with awe the majesty of the mountain from which it comes."

Evening Prayer

Dim sanctuary...small devotional candles encircle the room...waves of incense lifting prayers to the heighths...voices singing clear psalm tones...silence held between scripture readings...praise, intercession, thanksgiving, blessing...

Evening Prayer this third week of Advent...a group of your children, gracious God, gathering together away from the escalating tempo that the retailers would have us hear. We step away from our preparations and the onset of celebrations with coworkers and neighbors...a holy huddle as we incline our ears and our hearts toward the promise of your nativity.

This year of Advent Sabbatical, my "Evening Prayer" took place in a congregation where I know only a few people -- but I am drawn into intimacy with them. For 45 minutes we are of one clear mind...all thoughts, spoken and unspoken, are focused upon the light of Christ. This light is mystical. Although our eyes see a single light radiating from the Christ candle, our hearts and souls see the immense light of the One who pierces the darkness of the world.

I climb back into my pickup truck and travel back home. The strains of the prayer service weave their way from evening prayer to the moments in the middle of the night when I shift in my bed and, my mind "awakens".

"My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord...my spirit rejoices in God my savior."

Amen.

The Peace of Christ

I am grateful for the experience of worshipping in places where I am a guest. When a total stranger greets me with the warm peace of Christ I am reminded of the power behind that gesture.

Passing the Peace is so different from saying "hello". It is a type of interaction that is unique to Christian Community. It has the capacity to transcend situations and cut through the limits of human familiarity. When we exchange the peace of Christ it smooths out the twists and turns of awkwardness. In cases where there has been some offense given or received, the peace of Christ draws us back into the spirit of forgiveness and reconciliation. The peace of Christ gathers us in...soothing our brows, easing our thoughts, calming our fears.

When we are sitting with somebody from our own household or church community, we may know specific details about their life story. We can enfold them in prayers for their peace and wholeness. Needless to say, there is immeasurable meaning and power in that!

But it is good to be reminded that this peace is given to us by God through Christ. It reaches deeper and broader than any of us can possibly comprehend. When you "pass the peace" you participate in transcendent mystery and you offer to the "other" much more than you can begin to imagine.

The byway

There are certain lengths of the Ohio Highway System that I travel with regularity. I've been on the road so many times, I can envision grooves in the pavement from my tires. Sometimes it seems that I could set my car on autopilot and arrive safely to my destination.

The regular path of ministry is similar to highway driving. Many (if not most) days, a fairly predictable pace and progression are maintained. I pass through the midmorning, lunch, midafternoon and evening hours noting them in the same way that I have glanced at milemarkers between highway exits.

This sabbatical time is more like travelling a byway. Points of interest pop up and I can embrace the gift of pausing as long as necessary to experience them. There is no imposed urgency to pass them by. These are the places and situations that are usually bypassed by my normal schedule. They are rich with fresh vistas!

I am filled with deep, broad gratitude for the blessing of travelling this ministry byway!

Recipe for the Day

Assemble, add, stir, simmer/bake, serve. These sound like cooking terms...phases of a recipe. True...

They are also describe a regular practice which is now the "order" for each morning.

First, I "assemble" whatever ingredients I have at hand. I gather a variety of thoughts and feelings...my physical condition...what I "know" about what the day might hold. The primary ingredient, always, is my consent to be open, flexible and responsive to God's rhythmic movement.

Then I "add" a binding agent.... scripture...words written by one of the spiritual masters of the past. This addition helps to align my ingredients with words that resonate with lasting truth. It draws me from the narrow confines of self to the expansive depth of God's presence.

"Stirring" I move to a time of prayer...it's not predetermined how long that time will be. Sometimes my thoughts and the words of scripture are blended together almost instantly. At other times shifting...weaving...pondering take longer -- like kneading..working...massaging the ingredients and binding agents together into some "form".

Then I "rest". Like bread baking or soup simmering, I linger in the warmth of God's presence and let all that has been blended together "become" a new substance. The wonderful mystery unfolds...I have no control over what the end result will be, but I trust that it will be something that is "good", because God, the source of all that is blessed, is in operation.

A recipe is useless if its result is not served. This time of prayer is not meant to produce something that will merely sit on some shelf in my mind or heart. The purpose is connected to serving the "other". It may be a familiar person or situation--some close friend or family member. Or, it may be service on behalf of a person or a situation that is beyond the scope of my limited vision. At any given moment a word, a glance or a gesture be used by God for God's purpose -- I don't need to "know" the specific nature of my service.

Want to try the recipe?

Assemble: What ingredients do you bring?


Add: Scripture or other Sacred Reading


Stir/blend: Prayerful Reflection


Simmer/Bake: "Rest" in God's Warm Presence. Allow God's mysterious power to transform and mold all that has been combined.


Serve! Amen.

The patriarch of our herd

Every so often something happens that transforms every day life into something extraordinary.

I was sitting in my home office writing...I happened to look out the window toward our side yard, and saw that the patriarch of our deer herd was less than ten feet from where I sat. He is the size of a small horse...with a full rack...8 points if you count them all!

I moved slowly to get my camera and set it up by the window. He looked at me...engaged and ready to bolt if sensing danger. He studied me for several moments while I settled my chair to face him more directly. I must have seemed "safe" to him.

I was pleased that he decided to make his bed in my company. I saw his eyes settle into total disinterest, and then they closed...he slept. He was there for about 5 hours as I studied, and prayed and wrote. Words can't describe the flow of awe that coursed through my mind and my heart in his presence....I felt like I was privvy to something intimate. What right did I have to be so near to this creature as he was at rest?



People travel the world seeking extraordinary sights and works of nature -- I can't think of many that would touch me so dearly as this one that occurred in my backyard in Brecksville Ohio.

Learning to Follow

One of the disciplines of this Sabbatical is to move away from routine that is predicted and dictated by habit. It is a gift to set aside the "normal" activities of ministry and become more curious about how God can use this time to strengthen, energize, and enhance the way I can serve. I find myself readily seeking God's inspiration and direction when I face even the practical routines of the day.

In many ways this is similar to the moments I used to experience back in the dancing days (yes, I used to dance! and still do from time to time...) Sometimes if the leader and I were losing our connection...and it seemed that my ability to follow was slipping...we would pause and the leader would simply move gently in place(no fancy steps). This is called "keeping time". Once we were smoothly and harmoniously moving again in place, we coul start out again as a single entity -- two bodies joined in step and rhythm.

I find myself embracing the practice of stopping regularly throughout these sabbatical days. I simply pause wherever and whenever I find myself wondering: How would the Lord have me use this time?

When "normal life" returns, I can only imagine that even the most rigidly scheduled day will be enhanced in remarkable ways if occasional moments are taken to "keep time" with the Loving Leader of Life's Dance.





I have heard that it takes 30 days to break a habit and 30 days to internalize new behavior. Hmmmmmmm.... we shall see!

NOTE: The painting included on this posting is by Cliff Warner.

Welcomed by the Spirit

I spent December 1st on a one-day intensive retreat with my spiritual director. It was an 8 hour span of time when I settled into not only the space of this Sabbatical, but also into the Advent disciplines. Much of my current Faith Formation Blog postings as well as the flow of the 2009 CRLC Advent Devotional I am writing will likely emerge from the seeds sown yesterday.

The first hour was a time to collect the images and life experiences that are most active in my prayer life.

The next two hours were a time of meditation, reading and writing.

Then another lengthy conversation with my spiritual director helped to discover a bit more about God's action that was popping through my time of focused prayer.

Then, another two hours of solitude... this time was quite peaceful. I was reminded of the waiting time when bread is baking. The dough has been mixed, kneaded, allowed to rest and then formed. It is placed in the preheated oven and then there is nothing more to do but "attend" its baking process. Like the pervasive aroma of bread wafting from the oven, God's presence continued to grace my thoughts, my sights...even my actions, like kneeling in prayer, walking outside, or making hot tea.

Finally, a shorter conversation with my spiritual director to sift through all the "gleanings" of the day to see if any were raising questions or wonderment.

After we prayed together, my spiritual director left me to gather together my thoughts, the intentions that had emerged throughout the day, and then to record in my journal my first impressions of what had been nudged.

I share with you now a wonderful prayer given to me by my spiritual director:

Birthing God, who beckons us to the dance of birthing and sustains us in our laboring, hear this prayer.

From the fear of the unknown deliver us. From the doubts of our creativity deliver us. From fear of ridicule by those around us deliver us. From our excuses about our abilities, our age, our education, our looks, our status deliver us.

With the promise of companionship comfort us. With your creative spirit bless us. With your pledge of sustenance strengthen us. With your embrace heal us and set us about your work to bring about life.

You who called us to life that you may be born again in us, enable us to imagine the unimaginable and to conceive the unexpected for all of your honor and glory.... Amen

First Sunday of Advent

I will be visiting various churches in the area while on sabbatical. What a blessing and privilege to be a wanderer in unfamiliar yet friendly places.

Today it was Bethesda on the Bay ELCA -- Wonderful, traditional worship. The community was moved from the "end of times" readings to the faithful promise that we are in between Advents.... that Christ has arrived...and although gone from this world for a while, He will arrive again...and we are to be in waiting for not only the celebration of His birth which arrives every 25th of December, but also for the final arrival.

There is a responsibility laid upon us to attend to the matters of the community of faith, the church, even though we will never do it perfectly. Pr. Stylski spoke of how churches who are "successful" run the risk of missing the mark of humility. Prideful focus upon numbers or "program effectiveness" can blind us to God's coming in much the same way we are distracted by drunkenness or excessive worry about the matters of the world.

Advent waiting and advent preparation move us to a balance between the knowledge that Christ is Born... and that He rules the universe...and the equally powerful knowledge that we are "in between time". As such, we are a community of faith that knows God is near, even as we are in a world that is in grievous peril.

Tomorrow, December 1, is the "formal" beginning of the sabbatical. I will spend the entire day on "retreat" at Ursuline...... Blessings to you!

I'm on my way

This is a vacation week. It is a week that is "in between times"...between saying farewell to CRLC and the official beginning of sabbatical...December 1.

I have a sense of "collecting myself".

I am gathering my writing and reading supplies. I am preparing my "niche" in my home which will serve as a temporary office. I decided to arrange it in a place apart from the normal home office where all of the business transactions take place.

I am shifting from the schedule where my time is dictated by appointments and regular commitments to a schedule that will be "ordered" by the spiritual practices of prayer, study, reflection and writing. I've never lived this way ... it is new to me... and I wonder in the depth of my soul at the way God will work His will for this phase of my life.

I noticed on Sunday something that was surprising: I had anticipated a sense of separation or closure.... Instead, there was a prevailing feeling of "welcome"... It seemed odd! Yet as I prayed my way through those hours of saying farewell to CRLC, I was met by countless individuals who said "I will be praying for you"!
What seemed on the surface to be a time of "moving away" was actually a time when the "moving into" process was of greatest prominence!

I give thanks for the companionship of the CRLC community...and so many others.

I don't know where I am going... but I am on my way!

November 23--Farewell Sunday

Last night I wandered through the winterscape of my backyard. Several deer were finding their beds. When the ground is snow covered the evening visitors are clearly visible. At least six deer make our property their resting place. The loss of some of our plantings is really a small price to pay for the scene upon which I gaze every time I look out my window....The small herd settles so peacefully...they awaken when they see my candle in the window... they watch me watching them watching me...and we cohabit the moment. In the peace of such moments the stirrings of deepest feelings often emerge.

While I wandered I noticed the onset of emotions regarding my "Farewell Sunday". I will say "see you later" today to so many people...and to the hallways, the sanctuary and the gathering space at CRLC. I realize that it is going to feel awkward, at first, to practice the discipline of "Absence".

For over 16 years that "place" has been a major component of most of my days.... other than my vacation or retreat times, that place at 9201 Brecksville Road has been on my radar screen and on my itinerary nearly every day. Part of the practice of sabbatical, especially when it is not a "travelling" sabbatical, is to refrain from being on site. I can only say that it will feel strange to be around Brecksville without checking in at the church...(my home is less than 3 miles from it).

The practice of absence from the typical pattern of my day will be a poverty in many ways...for it has been very, very rare that being at CRLC has been anything other than pure joy for me. It is a place and a community where I have seen Christ in so many ways. It is an environment where I have experienced care...nurture...and guidance. It is also a place where I have been challenged to grow...where my sense of call has been clarified...and where I have learned more about God, myself and others than I ever could have imagined on my own.

I am deeply, deeply grateful for the place...and the people...the "church" that is located at 9201 Brecksville Road.

Farewell....see you in March!

So it begins

How amazing...how surprising...how delightful. The Sabbatical Time is here.

Although my sabbatical doesn't officially begin until December 1, I have one 2008 Vacation Week that begins this weekend. My last official day in the CRLC office is today. May last Sunday at CRLC is November 23, Christ the King Sunday. I am standing on the brink of a three month span that is more open and unfettered than any three month span I have ever experienced. What a gift....What a blessing.

And I am not missing the call to respond to this blessing as a steward...a steward of time, place, and energy.

I plan to practice a monastic order for my days...although I rarely miss morning prayer time in my ordinary life, during this sabbatical I intend to follow the discipline of "Praying the Hours". That means there will be regular times during the day, nomatter what I am doing, when I will pause to pray with psalms and hymns. This is a practice that fills my days when I am at the Abbey of the Genesee, and it is one that can be incorporated into my Sabbatical Time wherever I am!

I have experienced the feeling of unknowingness many times in my life.... but never as powerfully as now...

I have no idea where I am going....but I am on my way!