Let me stay a while!

At my most recent spiritual direction session, I was oozing with joy regarding the delight of hours of prayer ... and the blessing of basking with others (in silence) in Holy Space and Time. You see, I met with my spiritual director just days after I returned from the Abbey of the Genessee. At one point I said: Ah, wouldn't it be wonderful to always be this "way" with others...no need to impress or impose oneself... simply be together with no other focus than the Lord. Sr. M. burst out laughing....and said, "Oh, come back to earth, Pamela!!!!"

I was sounding like Peter, who at the sight of Jesus' Transfiguration wanted to find some way to "house" the glorious moment. I can't contain what I have experienced. I can't stay forever on the mountaintop of days that are so separate from the public ministry to which I am called.

In many ways, my soul has delighted in a heightened awareness of God's glory. I haven't climbed mountains, literally, while on sabbatical. But I have travelled trails within my own spiritual landscape...some of which have been "extreme adventure". There have been rapid descents into valleys as well as straining, gripping grasping rock climbs. I have done some rappelling and bungee jumping. Even some free falling. I have stumbled a few times, become breathless and weary legged...but I have also sprinted and soared. I have stood by fountains of His flowing water...and I have stretched my arms upwards at the summit of mountain top experiences.

I am beginning to assemble my thoughts, my prayers and my heart for my return. Part of my time next week will be unstructured and unscheduled....just as it is wise to "collect" the gifts given after a time of worship or retreat, it is part of the sabbatical process to take time to simply rest in gratitude for all that has been given. I will also prayerfully wait and listen for any closing comments the Lord may have to speak to the ears of my heart.

It takes practice to move gently and mindfully from one pace to another. This is true whether I am sailing in high winds, shifting gears in my pickup truck or encouraging a horse to go from a walk to a canter to a full gallop.

This sabbatical time doesn't need to end with a screeching halt....nor do I need to enter my role at CRLC as one who is hitting the floor running.

I am deeply grateful for all that has been given. And I trust that He will guide me to the places and the people where I am to serve "from" those good gifts.