Gratitude

The divine will is a deep sea, the surface of which is the present moment. If you plunge into this sea you will find it infinitely vaster than your desires.
Jean-Pierre de Caussade in The Joy of Full Surrender.

During the sabbatical my acts of service have not been very public. As I have been absent from the context of that public ministry, I have learned much about surrender. I pray that these lessons will spill over into the days when sabbatical has ended. The lessons have been about being intentionally present to God every single moment, looking for the nudge that draws my attention to what is being called for RIGHT NOW.

At my most recent meeting with my spiritual director, I shared some of the various twists and turns of the last couple of weeks. There have been many, many unexpected happenings, mostly related to the impermanency of material things. There have also been reminders of the flow of time -- change is constantly on the horizon -- and as long as one is alive, one is also moving upon the path of mortality...until flesh and blood, and all that is of nature's life must simply surrender and become a part of the eternal.

My mother and my mother in law are both increasingly frail...in their mid-80's. Every time I visit them I notice just a bit more slippage...but it is, so far, a smooth and gentle slippage.

Just last week I visited one of my dearest friends -- we used to sail together on a regular basis when he and I were both much younger. I smile as I write that, because even then he was in his early 80's and I was in my mid 40's). He's 94 now...and frail in mind, body...but not in spirit! Our visit closed with our deep appreciation for our relationship...and with a clear understanding that this "farewell" might well be the last time we would see each other in this life.

I returned from that visit to discover that my geriatric cat...17 years...had taken a fairly serious "turn" for the worse. We were able to provide some relief without heroic measures, and now she is home being coddled and pampered so that this phase of her life is as contented is possible.

It is true that time is always passing....and that the present moment is lush with God's love. God draws us nearer to His heart, where the pulse of His will blends with our present moment and transforms our simplest actions into grateful ministry.

There are times when we are vigorous and we are drawn into service that is energetic, active, and visible to the public in marvellous ways. Then those moments pass, and we move into times when our service is to be nothing other than being present for those who are weaker than us, and who trust us enough to be vulnerable and totally dependent upon us.

I have had the blessing and privilege of both -- the time to be actively and publicly leading and serving, as well as the time to be more quiet...serving in small ways that are apparent only to the one in need. These moments ebb and flow. At times my mind and my desires are not in harmony with what is being called for in the present moment...but I AM learning. I am learning the Joy of Surrender.

Wisdom and contentment radiate from God's heart. Each moment that we surrender the struggle to follow a self-determined course (even though it seems to be a good course) we are enfolded in the perfect attitude that will open our hearts to what is TRULY "good" according to God's will. We then can let all that we are and all that we do be an expression of gratitude...a thanksgiving...

Let us bless the Lord. Thanks be to God!